The case for play when everything’s falling apart 🤹

A few weeks ago, everything hit at once.

The power in our house went out for days from a storm. One car got a flat tire. The other was already at the mechanic. I had a work trip to prep for. And it was my kids’ last week of school — a week full of end-of-year chaos, forms, and emotion.

My husband and I were both tense, tightly wired, and deadly serious. To our bodies, it was like we were being chased by a tiger — adrenaline spiking, every task feeling urgent, every emotion amplified. And of the two of us, I was the most serious of all!

We weren’t just logistically overwhelmed. We were narrating the whole thing in our heads with a doomsday soundtrack:

• “This is a disaster.” 

• “It’s all unmanageable.”

• "We’re not going to be able to fix this in time.”

I realized later: the facts were tough, yes. But what made it feel unbearable were the stories we layered on top.

And the truth is: the flat tire was going to happen and get fixed whether we were miserable or laughing. The kids’ last day would come and go. My work trip would still take place. The power would eventually come back on.

Inconvenient and stressful though it was, how we moved through it was up to us. And frankly, I had forgotten that play was even an option! 

Once I had this "eureka!" realization, I promised myself that next time life gets life-y, I'll face it with more humor, using the following practices. So next time you find yourself full of chaotic, tightly-wound energy, telling yourself pessimistic stories—try these confidence tips out to reconnect with play:

Quick Confidence Tips to Face Chaos with Playfulness 

1. Mindset: Interrupt the Doom Spiral with One “Absurd” Reframe

When everything feels urgent, our brains fill in the worst-case scenario like it’s breaking news. Next time you're narrating a disaster in your head, intentionally say something ridiculous to break the tension, like:

• “We’re clearly starring in a survival reality show.” 

• “We’ll laugh about this in 2037.” 

• “This is just the universe’s way of asking us to camp indoors, I guess.”

Absurdity cuts through anxiety (and bonus if you're a parent: kids respond really well to absurd reframes!). The simplicity of that crack of laughter might be your most useful reset.

2. Embodied: Unclench, On Purpose

When your body is tight, confidence can’t flow. Take 30 seconds to literally shake it off: drop your shoulders, wiggle your fingers, un-tense your jaw. Turn on some music and dance or do some jumping jacks! I personally like to reset by doing a mock dramatic sigh to signal “Enough of this mode!” That shifts my system out of overdrive. Remember, confidence grows in relaxed bodies, not rigid ones. Your nervous system can’t fake chill, so help it out.

3. Interpersonal: Share the Chaos, Not Just the Outcome

When life gets messy, sometimes we wait until it’s figured out before telling anyone. But play thrives in honesty. When they ask “How are you?”, try keeping it real:

“It’s been a mess over here…power out, cars down, we’ve been pretty much surviving on granola bars and sarcasm!”

This kind of playful vulnerability doesn’t just connect, it reminds people you’re human. And that realness and shared chuckle might be the most confident move of all.

What I love most about playfulness is that you don't have to earn it or wait for the perfect moment—it's always available and always your ally in chaos or inconvenience. You don't need to already be carefree to invite in lightheartedness: in fact, quite the opposite!

If you want to boost your confidence, try poking fun at the absurd, opening up to others, and literally loosening up your body. That’s not flippant, it's resilient — and it's where unflappable boldness begins.