Say a big YES 💬 to the compliment

Everyone knows that the risk of failure can be scary. But what about the risk of succeeding? 

Sometimes flying high can be just as scary as crashing and burning. Ever been there?

Maybe you’ve experienced a win, and for whatever reason you were a little afraid to accept it. To enjoy it. To own it.

This has happened to me a number of times, and here’s one example that relates to this newsletter: I was surprised and really excited when LinkedIn recognized this newsletter, Quick Confidence, in their content series called Top Picks.

Whoa!! The newsletter was only a few months old then, and I was thrilled. My immediate, in-the-moment response was giddiness and excitement, but then something weird happened:

I found myself deflecting the compliment. Did my newsletter get added as a clerical mistake? Was this a fluke or a total stroke of luck? A little cynical voice inside was saying that I hadn’t really earned it. 

Have you ever done that?

It probably won’t surprise you that in one study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, people with low self-esteem had the most trouble accepting compliments. Why? Their own flawed, “not good enough” self-image didn’t match up with the more positive image others had of them. Talk about a negative, reinforcing cycle!

Well, I’m here to tell you that shutting down compliments and recognition won’t build your confidence. Instead, we do right by ourselves and others when we receive praise with a wholehearted “yes.” 

Not only does this honor our efforts, it also honors the people who are going out of their way to give us positive feedback and encouragement. 

Here are some simple ways you can better accept — and own — the praise you receive.

Quick Confidence Tips to Say Yes to the Compliment:

1. Embodied: Keep an open torso. 

Sometimes when people hear a compliment, they reflexively shrink, look down or even back away from the person paying tribute. Eek! We’ve probably all seen someone at an event who had their feet turned away from the group, as if they wanted to be somewhere else. Instead, make a point to square up your body in front of the person speaking, keeping an open torso with your shoulders back and your face forward. Yes, you might feel a bit exposed, but it’s a great way to show you’re sincerely listening and that you’re receptive to what’s being said. 

2. Interpersonal: Say “Thank you, and.” 

Rather than diluting (or devaluing!) the compliment you receive, say thank you - and add one honest and positive take of your own. That way, you let people “in,” so they can see your authentic reaction. For example, you could say:

• “Thank you for noticing, that means a lot to me...”

• “Thank you for sharing that, I loved my time working on this project...”

• “Thank you, I really value your perspective and I’m happy to hear you feel that way....”

• “I’m delighted you were happy with X, it’s been an awesome learning experience for me...”

3. Mindset: See compliments as a valuable feedback loop. 

Compliments are a simple way we express our appreciation for others. Think about it – if you’re reflexively deflecting the praise you receive, you are cutting off a critical channel of information about your contributions, your unique value, and your performance! So instead, see compliments as a data set of your best strengths (bonus: then you can proactively transfer those strengths to different confidence-building scenarios). After all, it’s only when we know our strengths that we can start to cultivate them into superpowers!

Next time someone compliments you, take a deep breath… and receive it fully. You deserve to feel proud of your growth, your effort, and your wins. There’s nothing arrogant about it—it’s honest confidence in action.

How do you react when you receive a compliment (especially if they make you "uncomfy")? What’s your go-to response? Let me know in the comments!

If I could dispel one myth about leading with confidence, it's that it's not a "talent"—it’s a skill. And my forthcoming book, due out November 10th, helps you sharpen it fast.

You can now pre-order Quick Leadership: Build Trust, Navigate Change, and Cultivate Unstoppable Teams!

Quick Leadership challenges the status quo with a bold, people-first approach to guiding teams in a workplace that never stops evolving. Inside, you’ll find sharp, quick-to-implement strategies designed to help you build trust, boost performance, and bring out the best in your team—without burning yourself out.

Whether you’re stepping into your first leadership role or managing a team of fifty, Quick Leadership is your go-to guide for building a healthier, more connected, and high-performing workplace. It’s also a must-have for HR pros, culture shapers, and anyone serious about leading with clarity, humanity, and meaningful results.