How to feel sure of yourself (even when you’re not) 😁

A few years ago, I had my first studio filming opportunity—one of those career-making moments. I was about to record content for a large audience and what felt like an even larger film crew. 

I had rehearsed my material, but as I waited for my turn, I could feel the confidence draining out of me. My heart pounded against my ribs, my hands went cold, and I had the sudden primal urge to bolt out of the room. Aaaack!

But then I caught myself. Instead of spiraling, I reminded myself of something I had read: Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s a set of actions. 

So I straightened my posture, took a deep breath, and walked up to speak as if I belonged there.

And guess what? I did. ☺️

My approach to dealing with my nerves that day is not a personal life hack. It’s backed by research. A study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology showed that acting confident—even when you don’t feel it—increases self-assurance over time because the brain takes behavioral cues from the body. 

Even if it feels unnatural at first, your body and mind will start to align with practice, building real confidence from the outside in. So, if you’re in a moment where you feel anything but confident, here are a few "Do's" to ensure you look and sound self-assured until your brain catches up.

Quick Confidence Tips to act confident before you feel it

1. Embodied: Be conspicuous. When we’re nervous, we instinctively shrink: crossed arms, hunched shoulders, jittery movements. But confidence is the opposite—it's expansive. So, before you walk into a room, do a quick self-check: Stand tall—feet planted, shoulders back. Take up space—no shrinking, crossing arms, or fidgeting. Slow down your movements—fast, jerky motions signal nervous energy. When you sit or stand in a way that’s tall, “spacious,” and smooth, you send a powerful signal to yourself and everyone around you. Check in with yourself throughout the day about this. Adjust your posture, relax your shoulders, or lift your chin. Those small shifts add up to a powerful presence.

   
   

2. Interpersonal: Put some ‘oomph’ behind your words. Confidence isn’t just in how you look or stand. It’s in how you speak. Here’s how to tweak your communication for instant credibility: Ditch the question inflection—when statements sound like questions (“I think this will work?”), it undercuts authority. Use more air, not more volume—a strong, steady breath gives you a natural, confident tone. Embrace silence—filling every gap with “um” and “you know” makes you sound uncertain. Well-placed pauses add power to your message. By making these simple adjustments to how you speak, you’ll sound more confident and reinforce your presence in every conversation. Because it’s not just what you say. It’s how you say it that makes all the difference.

   
   

3. Mindset: Think “as if” and act the part. Still not feeling confident? No problem. Ask yourself: How would a confident person act right now? Then do that. A confident person wouldn’t over-explain—so keep it short. A confident person wouldn’t rush—so slow your pace. A confident person wouldn’t seek permission—so state your idea clearly and let it land. You don’t need to feel different to show up differently. Once you start acting confidently, the real feeling of confidence soon follows.

Confidence isn’t something you have to wait around for. It’s something you practice into being. The way you carry yourself, the way you speak, the way you choose to show up—these are the signals your brain picks up on and eventually starts to believe. So even if you don’t feel ready, steady, or sure… you can still act like someone who is. Then watch that “as if” confidence become the real thing.

Try it today: What’s one small way you can “borrow” confidence from your future self? Hit reply and tell me—I’d love to hear.