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  • Writer's pictureselenarezvani

Accepting delays to your dreams 💭

Before parenthood, I thrived on my timelines and routines, believing they were key to success. But life's unpredictability taught me otherwise. Unexpected changes—even delayed dreams—often hold beauty and opportunity, challenging us to grow in ways we never imagined.

Take, for instance, my journey to parenthood. Despite meticulously planned timelines (yep, I had a full-blown five-year plan!), infertility blindsided us. It took a slew of medical treatments and a rollercoaster of emotions before we were blessed with not just one, but two bundles of joy—twins! 

But the lesson in accepting life’s uncertainties didn’t end there. Parenting twins thwarted my attempts at maintaining control (turns out the twins don't share my obsession with timelines and routines 😅.) I started to realize maybe total control didn't have all the security I initially thought. And maybe, there's beauty in things unfolding on their own schedule. Opening up to this thinking was incredibly liberating. I discovered a newfound confidence in my ability to adapt to ambiguity—and to take delays with a little more grace.

The takeaway: We can’t always force our dreams into reality, but we can choose how we respond to curveballs and the unexpected. Here are three ways I've learned to embrace life's delays and uncertainties:

Quick Confidence Tips for Accepting Delays In Your Dreams:

  1. Embodied: Stay loose and flexible. Embrace the idea that the path to achieving your dreams will most likely NOT be straightforward. Be open to switchbacks, u-turns, and even major roadblocks! That means telling your body that a delay is not an emergency. It means reminding yourself that a setback is not a sign that your dream is impossible. And it means coaching yourself—and your nervous system—to keep calm, be agile and open, and that it’s okay to adjust your timeline and approach as needed. Remember, having a physical death grip on your dream doesn’t make it likelier to come true. It’s ok to relax into the ups and downs of pursuing it.

  2. Mindset: Bathe in self-compassion. Be kind to yourself during periods of delay. Understand that it's normal to experience frustration and disappointment, and let yourself have a good vent about it. I’ve found it works especially well when you have a sense of humor too. You might say “Wow this dream is testing the heck out of me!” or “At this rate, my dream will come true just in time for retirement!” While you acknowledge your discomfort, avoid harsh self-criticism. Treat yourself with compassion and understanding, the way you’d encourage a good friend.

  3. Interpersonal: Take continuous action. Stay proactive by continuing to take steps towards your dreams, no matter how small. Even if progress seems slower than a turtle on a coffee break(!), I promise it will pay off. Just like when you're riding a bicycle, alternating at times between coasting and going fast, you continue to move forward with relative ease. On the other hand, when you keep stopping, getting off the bike, and attempting to get back on and restart - it feels a lot harder. So keep your forward movement. Consistent action builds momentum and gives you motivation to keep going, and the confidence to continue learning, trying new things, and stacking the odds in your favor.

Life's twists and turns may disrupt our best-laid plans, but they also present opportunities for growth and joy. So embrace the unexpected—it might just lead you to remarkable places.

Have you experienced a time when an unexpected delay brought unexpected rewards? Share your story in the comments below—and share this message with anyone navigating life's unexpected turns this week!


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